It's been a bad n sad week for me.. today is only the midweek.. dunno how am I going to survive till end of the week.. been feeling so frustrated with things around me keep happening..
1st.. my grandma was warded in the hospital for more than a week.. see her look so weak I so sad.. but luckily she is getting better day by day.. hope that she will recover n go back soon!
2nd.. things at work doesn't look that fine this week.. basically, my boss is quite demanding and that can be good n bad.. bad is that she will make u so stress at work till u hardly have breathing space plus pressure from colleagues, even more difficult to take it.. all demanding for things when u only have two hands and one brain to produce the work.. then worst is.. tried ur very best to learn n do as much as u can liao still kanna from them.. just new to the job one month.. then still have so many things to learn.. cos a lot still dunno.. As a new staff, when u dunno anything u will tend to ask ur seniors and listen to wat they want n do wat they want.. then in the end kanna from boss.. saying not all things they say can do.. but how would I know I can't do that when I am only two weeks old when I process that work.. feeling so discourage by all that is happening this week.. I thought that I am still doing well until I kanna from boss just now.. feel like giving up.. cos feel so demoralized.. I guess wat I need is more time.. I did think that my boss being demanding may be good.. cos I will learn more, improve and eventually be bette..but I still feel sad and disappointed by my performances this week as I really tried my very best but still not doing very well..:(
3rd.. my back seems to be giving me problem again since the operation six months back.. dunno if it's due to prolong sitting which my physiotherapist believe so.. I was told to watch my back n not sit too long as this might cause me to affect my walking if it gets worst.. been feeling pain when walking recently.. went to see my surgeon last month n he suggested another surgery which I insist to wait n see if it gets better.. hopefully I won't need another surgery.. am considering if I should quit my job.. cos I have been sitting a lot in this current job which is bad for my back.. plus getting negative feedbacks at work this week.. making me more discourage to continue.. dunno if I should give up..
4th.. relationship with bf not that smooth also.. dunno wat's wrong recently.. can't seems to really understand wat he is thinking.. while I am studying for exams, he will hope we can meet soon.. after I finish exams, and have more time for him, he began to be busy.. also dunno with wat.. cos he will just say he is busy with his things.. last time msg him he still will reply quite soon.. this few days msg nv reply.. even book out also nv let me know..even change phone no. also didn't bother to let me know..When asked why he nv tell me he said cos I scare u busy.. I know that he might be angry that everytime he msg me I am working and take very long to reply so might as well dun need to inform..But no matter how busy I am..I will still see the msg just that I can't reply very soon..at least inform me of the change in hp no. so that I know how to contact him.. Made me so worried just now..thought wat happened to him..cos msg no reply then call hp is off..at that point in time I really so scare something happen to him..untill finally I remembered him using another no to call me then I can contact him..when contacted..he just replied I scare u busy so nv tell u i change no. Then said..I thought u know I got this new no..then when I asked why dun on the other hp..he said cos dun want ppl to bother him..very sian..Haiz..I really dunno is it me who cause him to be so bother and sian..I really hope I am not the one who make him so sian..I have no choice for being busy at work..I just started new job..alot of things to familiarise, do and learn in order to keep my job..so naturally will be more busy.. I am very happy that he is very understanding for the past few months when I am busy with both work and studies and supported me all the way and not mind if we dun meet up often.. now that i am abit more free, I wanna have more time with him but seems that we still have problem catching each other's time..I dunno y..maybe is me.. maybe cos i neglected him previously when studying f0r exams then now my turn to kanna neglected..But i dun even know when he will book out cos nowadays when I ask him he also nv reply or tell me..Like that how to make time to meet up..I really dunno how..I hope our relationship will get better..=(
Think that's all I wanna say for today..cos very tired after 12 hours of work today..plus so many things happened today..going to rest le..hope the next time I blog will be for good and happy things..lastly..hope ah ma will get well soon and hope my back will get better and not worst..
I know that sometimes u feel neglected but I have no choice..I am already trying my best to spend more time with u..but recently I really feel very insecure..I have a feeling that you will leave me soon and u will give up on this relationship..Nowadays, I can only know how u doing through facebook cos u dun reply when I msg u..I dun want to know ur things only through facebook..i hope to know ur things through u telling me..even if I am busy, u can still msg me to let me know..I will still reply after work..I dunno if something went wrong between us..if yes, speak up..waiting for u to tell me wat happened to u recently..='(