SERENE(:

Friday, May 29, 2009
:: Feeling abit frustrated.... ::

Hmmm..so fast May going to end le..Feeling abit frustrated..dunno y..Lots of things like not going very smoothly for me..Like work, health n school all like not that good..haiz..

First is work..WORK is getting more n more frustrating..wanna leave but can't get a job..haiz..more n more things to do at work but no one can help..all u get is trouble..Everyday will sure have something from my manager asking me to settle..haiz..so many payments to make..i also dunno how to make the payments..just throw all to me n expect me to settle..need to go out cover the counter n need to help her settle all the shit payments..all the payments need to call to check how i could make payments..cos i had nv done all this before..i dunno who can help me..but i doubt anyone could help me..haiz..sometimes not that i dun want to faster settle the payments..is that i gt no time to call to check how to make payment..if stay in the backroom to check, the manager will start nagging, telling u to go out cover the counters..i really dunno how..after work tried to call the depts, all left office le.. then how to do all the things..wat the hell..all she do is ask u why havent make payment..why can't she help to check how to make payment..whole day in the office dunno do wat..keep talking to ppl like everyone so free to entertain her..i really dunno wat is wrong with my new manager..when ask her things, she just keep talking n talking but nothing useful came out from her mouth..without her around, things can be settled faster..haiz..think of work really damn sianz..everytime off / leave sure got call to ask u to go back to work..wat the hell..ppl take leave or off for fun meh? confirm gt something on then will apply leave or take off mah..i too free nothing to do then purposely go take leave dun go work ah..crazy..taking leave already so difficult to get le, get le still kanna call back, like that how to clear leave..hopefully tmr they can let me go on leave peacefully..dun call me to ask me to go back..

Next thing is that my back is worrying me..haiz..went for physiotherapy today..then my physiotherapist told me that my back is getting worst.. though i dun feel the pain so often le but i experience numbness from my back to my toes..so she told me that this numbness that i experience is not a good sign..hmmm..i also dunno how..haiz..hopefully will improve with physio..but i gt no time to go..the next appt is one month later..cos cannot take leave at work to go..they gt slots for earlier dates but i can't take leave..so can't make it..haiz..if this goes on, i dunno how..i was told to go twice a month but now i am only going once a month..i really hope that my back will improve but there is nothing i can do besides doing the exercises at home daily and also going for the physio..hopefully the exercises will improve my back..that is the only thing i can do now..will be consulting the doctor in one month time..hope that there is improvements..if not will have to go for the MRI scan which will cost me a bomb i suppose..i heard that MRI scan is not cheap..i dun wanna waste money..haiz..cos need to save up for study and for family expenses..

Coming July, I will be starting school at SIM doing a Degree in Accountancy awarded by RMIT.. Duration of the course is 2 yrs and total cost is abt $17k..no money to pay so applied for study loan with POSB..so really need to save up..cos every month must pay back..cannot wait till finish studying then pay..This is my last chance to work hard le..must really study hard this time round..cos not young anymore..if still dun study hard n get a degree, then will sure stay in the same company doing all the shit forever..i dun want to do that..so the best way is to upgrade n progress to higher level or other areas..n i also dun want to be looked down by some ppl so i will work very hard to do well..n most imptly, i dun want to waste my $17k..

That's all that i wanna say..just feel frustrated n wanna let go by writing all out..feeling better now..hmmm..not early le going to sleep le..goodnight!!=)

Wondering if u r doing well in camp..must take care wor..
soon will end le..hopefully can meet up soon!!=)
I dunno if u know that i still have feelings for you after so long..
i dun ask for anything from u..n i dun wanna force u..
But I just hope n wish that oneday u will give me a chance
n accept me n give each other a chance to be together..

SERENE-D(x 2:56 am