SERENE(:

Friday, November 23, 2007
:: On Block Leave.... ::

Finally on block leave le..but so fast going to end soon..On leave for a week..then so fast fri le..mon going back to work le..nv had a good rest at all..was busy with my stuffs..dunno wat i did was worthwhile..but i enjoyed my this week alot..brought back alot of my memories..and think through alot of things..

This week, i learnt something new again although i on leave..i finally understand wat it means by: "the more u talk the more mistakes u will make"..i will learn my lessons de..just hope that everything will be fine..feeling abit sad as my leave is ending..but must say that i had a wonderful week..

Next week will be a week i treasure most..cos it's my officer's last week at the branch..she is the first person i met in the branch that made me feel that i should continue in this job..had so many setbacks at first when i start this new job..but she was the one behind me, supporting me n helping me cope with everything at work..i must really thank her for all her guidance..Without her, think i would have left the company le..dunno wat will happen after she left the branch..maybe things will be bad for me?? i also dunno..haiz..hope that things will be as bad as i thought for me after she leaves the branch..

Frankly speaking, sometimes i really still have the thought of resigning and giving up..cos the amount of work is really like too much..especially for this month..all the unreasonable expectations from the top are killing me..demanding for so many things at such a short period of time..maybe that happens to all the big organisations?? But there are also times when i really felt like i am really one of them in this one big family..the thought of all the fun we had at times will stop me from thinking of resigning or giving up..At the moment, there r still lots of things for me to learn at work..so still not the time to leave yet ba.. guess i will stay on till maybe May next yr then decide whether to move on to my next career path or to stay put in the company..

Enough abt work..Let me talk abt some other things..hmmm..i recently just realised, i had given alot of my savings to my dad throughout the six months i am working..i had managed to save like $2200 for the 6 months..but one msg from him and almost 5/6 of my savings are gone..felt so sad n disappointed with my dad..why can't he just turn over a new leaf?? Why must he always take money from me..i am so broke now n need to apply for ACCA..dunno wat i should do..he doesn't understand that i have no more money..he always think that by threatening to die, he will be able to get money from me..at this rate he is asking money from me, i will soon kill myself..i can assure him that i will be the one dying first and not him..he has this concept that as long as he msg me that he needs money, he will be able to get it..i work in a bank..not owns the bank..

This month is really a happening month for me..so many things happened to me..i quarrelled with my mum and heard her telling her friend that she was pissed to see me..and hated the sight me..i was so hurt when i heard that coming out from her..she was the one i loved most and she said that abt me..i worked so hard cos i wanted her to have a better life..but wat do i get in return?? Nothing..all she knew was to complain and complain..she just thinks that no one cares for her..but she is wrong..my bro, sis n me all care alot for her..we r all working hard to make her life better..at times, i felt that no one ever really listened to me..no one ever listened to how i feel..all were too busy to care..perhaps..my family and friends are all too busy to care and listen to a burden like me..

Hmmm..think i had said too much but above are some of the things i had thought through during my one week leave..so wanted to just blog it down..still have lots of things i want to write..but i am tired..so going off first..shall find another time to come in and write more..

I'm left with nothing........nothing at all..............

SERENE-D(x 3:02 am