So fast n it's 2007 already.. So many things happened in the yr 2006..not a very good yr for me..hope this yr will be a better yr for me..haiz..had nightmares almost every night ever since it's 2007..kept dreaming abt the past events that are frightening..i am so confused..dunno wat to do..going to graduate soon..but still dunno wat i really want to do after i graduate..dunno want to find wat job..should i go n find a new job or continue working with the same company..still thinking..got alot of things that is stopping me from continuing..but also got alot of things that made me want to continue..i dunno how..wat should i do????? No one to talk to..no one to share with..no one to guide me to the next step in life..i am so confuse..who can i talk to??i really dunno..
Exams schedule are out..time to study hard..run my last lap..must really do well this time..beginning to feel stress out..scare that my results will be very poor again..i dunno wat to do..
Realised that my circle of friends are getting smaller n smaller..friends which i usually hang out with r all busy with their things...no time for me..last time meet up once every two weeks..then now become once a month or even never meet up at all for more than a month..Everyone really so busy???? Or everyone thinks that i am poor and not worth meeting??? During this three weeks de break, i everytime after work, dun feel like going home so early but dunno where to go..in the end, ended up loitering ard alone..dun wanna go home..cos go home will hv alot of things to think..cos of my dad..haiz..i am sad..lonely n confused..but no one knows or understands me..sometimes really feel like crying..cos i am feeling so bad inside..i am nv good at anything..always put in alot of effort for something but nv get back anything at all..work, school, family and relationship all like that..i have put in alot of effort for all this but i get nothing in return..the only thing i get is disappointment n more disappointment..am i really that bad???? Does everyone feels that i am bad????
Feeling so hurt deep in my heart.......................