SERENE(:

Thursday, January 11, 2007
:: Confused... ::

Hmmm..this coming friday, irene is going to leave ACS..then will not see her that often le..so scare that we would lose contact after she left the company..haiz..she is leaving, n i'm also leaving to study for my exams..dunno how ACS going to cope..cos still got alot of TB n WB not in yet..Wondering if they could cope with all the things..abit worry for their closing at the end of the day..then worry that they dunno how to receive stocks..like so many things nv teach them then leaving le..felt so irresponsible..but i have no choice..gt to do revisions for my exams..
Haiz..abit sad that irene is leaving..cos it was really a pleasure working with her..during the last three weeks working at ACS was my happiest moments le..cos everyone like help one another then like one big family..haiz..so happy..although it's abit tired n stress..but i felt happy working there..but think she leave le then i dun think i will go back so often le..cos someone will be back..n i dun want to be hurted by her anymore..so i chose to leave ACS too..Can't really bear to leave ACS..cos work there for so long le..work there for almost three yrs..the feelings are there..feeling so sad..can't believe that i will be leaving the company soon..haven't decide if i will continue working at popular till a find a job..but for the time being think i will stop working till after exams..need to concentrate..

Can't get to sleep now..cos alot of things to worry..IAP is my greatest fear..i am afriad that we will fail..like the other time..haiz..then followed by will be MA..haiz..want to do well for the coming exams but gt the fear in me..not very confident..see my past results, think i wasted the whole of my poly life..am i really in the wrong course?? dun even know if i could get a job after graduating..then ytd went to ask for the CCA points thing..then in the end that person say cannot get CCA points for the WMC last yr..cos that person say is not beneficial to SP..MUST THEY BE SO PRACTICAL????it's an international competition..not a national competition..dun see the point why i can't get CCA points for that..SP really is a bad school..so practical..hate it..frustrated!!!!!!!! Maybe i went to the wrong school..haiz..other poly can get CCA points for that..BUT NOT SP!!!!! IAP really dunno how to complete..seems that still alot more to go..seems like still far from completion..haiz..how???

Apart from work n school, still gt problems at home..dad nv take money home..then owe so many ppl money..also dunno how to repay the debts..it's really too much for me..i going to breakdown soon..can't take it soon..haiz..dun understand y he cannot think..y he just can't use money wisely..y must he owe so many debts when he know that he can't pay them in the first place..y is he working n not contributing to the family..everyday make us worry for his things..i gt alot of qns..but no ans to any of the qns..haiz..dun understand why he is working and nv take money back home..y he nv keep his promise..does he still care for the family? He still care for us???y he every month also want ppl to worry so much for his debts???Y he everytime say he not enough money???where did he spend his money?? i have no ans to these qns..everytime at night think of all this then will worry so much till can't sleep..is it fated to be like that??? When will he change to be a better father??? Really hope that this will come true one day..

I am thinking, thinking n thinking.....feeling so confused....='(

SERENE-D(x 3:06 am