SERENE(:

Thursday, September 28, 2006
:: Disappointed... ::

Hmmm..Now in IAP..then slacking..doing nothing..no mood to do anything..just now get IAP grade for term 2..did real bad for IAP last term..we only gt D-..just pass..haiz..dunno how..dunno if we can pass IAP not..must work hard for IAP this sem..if not the grades sure poor like hell..haiz..disappointed..nv expected such a poor grade..even worst than the rest of my results..must jiayou le..my IAP group mates let's work hard together..k?haha..

Ytd after work, told erica that i find it very difficult to continue working..she thought that i am being too sensitive over some matters..hmmm..but i am not..i thought for a long time..then came to a conclusion like this..hmmm..dunno if i am being to harsh to her..she helped me so much n now i am deciding to leave her alone..dun really want this to be the outcome..but i am really tired..dun wanna let anyone harm me anymore..n furthermore..maybe i leave le will be better for erica..at least i won;t get her into trouble..ytd talked to her abt this for some time..then nv come to any conclusion yet..still considering..work with her for so long le..i know that she need ppl at this period of time..i should be staying with to help her for the last time..but...still thinking through..cos i dun really wanna work in a company that doesn't trust their staff at all..hmmm..at least basic trust should be there..dun u all think so..if no how to work..do everything also need explanation..haiz..sick n tired of all this..really..hmmm...dun wanna continue saying liao..need a break first..will reconsider..(",)

Let's talk abt something happy now..hmmm..ytd was the happiest day of this week for me..cos when to meet shaun after work..as usual..i was late..so he gt to wait for me..haha..so sorry leh..then we went to MS to eat..go eat billybombers..hmmm..not nice at all..in the end i only finished half..cos no appetitte..then the food not that nice..shaun paid for the food..haha..so nt bad lah..thanks alot ah..haha..then went to shop shop..bought a shirt..actually not planning to buy anything de..but went to try some clothes while waiting for shaun to try his..haha..so in the end he bought a pair of jeans n i bought a shirt..haha..hope i look nice in that shirt..haha..then go walk walk..then go JE after that..sat at mac talked for awhile..haha..at least i am not thinking if the unhappy things at that moment..can relax abit..haha..

k la..think i gtg le..cos lessons gonna end le..haha..logging off the com le...haha..k la..see ya guys..=)

Give me sometime to consider..k?

SERENE-D(x 4:26 pm

Monday, September 25, 2006
:: FUCK..IT'S NOT OVER YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::

Thought that matter at work already over le..but it's nt over at all..just gt the news that they r stilll investigating on me..hmmm..work so long..work so hard..work so much..wat do i get???just troubles..n troubles..n troubles..nv trust staff at all..from the start to now..no trust at all..hmmm..poor management..the bad guy always gain the trust..why is it like that???i dun understand..can't be bothered le..this matter already bugged me for like more than a week..still not settled yet...just come n get me if u want!!!!just sack me if u dun trust me..stop those investigation..cos i dun u simply dun trust me at all..no matter wat i do..how well i do, i will still be suspected..why not just make everyone's life easier..just sack me..mayeb that is the end motive..no point investigating anymore..as watever i say u dun trust..u only trust that FUCKING HELL's WORDS..DO U THINK SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT..U R JUST BLIND..Even a murder deserves a chance to speak up..n fight for their own rights..but i am not given that chance..cos no matter wat i say..u won't believe me..just sentence me to death..that's it..now i know ur management style..it just sucks..no wonder..ppl come n go so often..

Hmmm..as for that FUCKING HELL...hope that she will be punished..she is so damn cunning..cannot imagine ppl so old like her still wanna harm ppl..still wanna do harm to me...i am just a part timer..i just wanna work to earn more to pay for my daily expenses..to lighten my mum's burden..y is she doing that to me????HARM ME LIKE FUCK..just go to hell lah..cannot take it le..just wanna scold out..jealous of me?????so old le still wanna do something so bad..really hope that she will be punished..wanna come back to work..wanna get rid of me???just tell me..i will go on my own..dun hv to harm me..cos i work just to earn some money..n nothing else..I'm tired..really tired..no one will understand how i feel..it really SUCKS to feel this way..so helpless n hopeless..

I'm not going to give in..i will fight to the end..even if i am at the losing end, i will also not give in..

SERENE-D(x 10:53 pm

Saturday, September 23, 2006
:: Seen another side of ppl in life.. ::

It's finally the end of school holiday..it's the end to my sufferings..now just need to concentrate on studies..hee..not thinking of anything else..during this period of holiday, so many things happened at work..hmmm..then saw another evil side of ppl in life..that is really scary..luckily everything is fine now..after so many that have happened, i have learnt my lesson..i will not trust ppl so easily..will just keep everything to myself next time..just in case later get into trouble again..worst is later get someone else into trouble also..hmmm..still dun understand why that person want to do that to me..but...since that matter rest le..i won;t wanna bother abt it anymore..just let it be..will just be smarter next time..nv trust ppl ard u so easily..one word from them n they can kill u..still have not decided if i will continue to work there..maybe not..must see how..i promised irene that i will help her if i can..so must consider properly first..if not later she scare no one help her then she also resign..hmmm..maybe will wait till she more stable le then i will leave..will listen to wat Erica tell me ytd..n i will remember it..won't let myself forget wat she say..cos if forget later get her into trouble again..hmmm..must remind myself..think now i will just think of school...cos last sem le..hope to do well..must do well for IAP..=) Hey my IAP group..must jiayou wor..we must score well..k?=)

SERENE-D(x 9:15 am

Wednesday, September 20, 2006
:: WHY??WHY??WHY?? ::

Why do that to me???I nv do anything to harm u..why???i really dun understand..wat is ur motive???i am really tired..i have really reached my limit..can't u just spare me?? If this goes on, i am going to die..i really can't take it anymore..is so unfair to me..why always backstab me..one left n now the other came..since u leaving then u should just leave n not create anymore troubles..why still wanna come n harm me..i did nothing to u..but u harm me..i really dun understand wat have i done wrong??Why is the outside world so cruel???Is the working world really so scary n cruel???i going to break down le..really feel like dying..then maybe they will be happy..i am feeling very terrible inside me..gt no one i can talk to..gt no one to help me..i really dunno how..When will they stop torturing me??

Just kill me if u want me dead..dun torture me this way..i really can't take it le..

SERENE-D(x 10:23 pm

Sunday, September 17, 2006
:: SICK AGAIN... ::

Haiz..fall sick again..nothing new..gt sorethroat..now throat feel very irritating..then wanna cough but cannot cough out..flu..gt block nose..sianz..all come together..think cos i not enough rest..had been working without any rest since the school holiday start..then now finally cannot take it le..had rest on fri..but too late le..already fall sick by then..one more week going to start school le..hope will recover soon..cos dun wanna take so many mc for the coming sem le..wanna do well for the last sem..cos really no chance liao..now still cannot sleep..cos must wait till 1am then can take medicine..sad..tmr still work 7.45am..sure will be very tired..

ytd night, Jermaine, our senior from SP DAC de called me..haha..suddenly..was shock..n surprrisely, we talked for like half to one hour..haha..were talking abt her working life after graduating n she told me to enjoy this last five months in SP..cos come out to work will be a different world le..hmmm..i also agree with her..cos alot of ppl tell me that too..think they r right..cos they experience it before le..so must listen..hmmm..then talk abt wat i wanna do after graduating..i also dunno..my results so poor..dunno will have any company want me nt..can only hope for the best..now find job nt easy..results not good even more difficult..so dunno how am i going to survive..hope i can survive..haha..cos wanna further studies also no money..wanna work scare no company want me due to results..haha..kept thinking n thinking..need to go get opinion from more ppl..then can decide..haha..

Recently, felt so bored after work..cos after work, dunno go where..as usual, no one to go out with me..all seems so busy..n i dun really have alot of friends..think that is sad..i only got a few friends..then only like two ppl usually go out with me..the rest just contact through phone..hmmm..the two ppl o referring to are shaun and wanying loh..haha..i usually only go out with the two of them..then think recently both of them like very busy..so nv really meet up..very long time nv go out with shaun alone le..like gt one month??think ard there ba..he having attachment so lesser time to go out le..wanna go out..but scare later he wanna go back home to rest cos tired after attachment..so nv go out loh..then wanying is i nv ask her..cos think she also busy with her things..if she free, she will msg me de..haha..but wanying still ok..cos just met her on fri..haha..wanna go kbox..so long nv go kbox with shaun le..the last time was with his classmate,jasmine n him..haha..dunno when can go kbox with him..haha..going to start school liao..so will have less time to enjoy le..sad..that day fri off also like damn sad..no friends go out with me..in the end rot at home in the afternoon till 5plus..then went to meet wanying..then go westmall walk walk n talk talk..haha..that's how i spent my day rest..haiz..slacking..haha..cos all not free to entertain me in the day time..haha..

Think i will stop here..cos abit tired liao..going to do my things le..haha..

I am feeling so lonely.....

SERENE-D(x 11:14 pm

Friday, September 15, 2006
:: Congrats to myself..I passed all my modules..=p ::

Finally gt our results on wed..was so anxious on that day..so scare that i will nt clear..was working that day..so cannot check my results myself..need to ask wanying help me check..haha..really must thanks her..if not i will have to wait till night time then can check..not really happy with my results..cos really damn pathetic..haiz..so sad..my GPA damn low..all of my friends gt much higher than me..still gt friends get 3.8, 3.4..haha..they so pro loh..not like me..but at least i should be happy that i passed all my modules and i am no longer a forward module student le..i am back as a normal student le..=p

Today on my way to school, i saw Jian Wei..hahaha..he now so tall le..we both almost cannot recognise each other..then went to sch together..so qiao sia..haha..hmmm..i should say he is a good guy..holiday still go back to school to do project..so hardworking..really nice to see him again..then after go school, went to harbour front with yuling, chuan n mike for lunch..had subway for lunch..haha..so shiok..haha..so nice..n nt that exp..haha..then after that go walk walk n slack around..so long nv go walk walk le..cos everyday work..today no work..cos they say i look very tired..n i am sick..gt flu for the past few days..so finally had my off day today..haha..so tired..need a good rest..actually should have gone home after going back to school..cos i not feeling well.but thought that so long nv go out together..so went out with them for awhile..then came back kept sneezing liao..think i should go sleep for awhile then i will feel better ba..haha..

one more week n school will start..nv had a good rest for the holiday..then going back to study le..then IAP come liao..i really hate it..haiz..dunno how to say lah..just dun like IAP..for some reasons..hope the coming sem will end soon..then we will be able to graduate le..then will need to go out to work le..think i will earn money first..then save up le then go study..but still need to consider first..still gt few months..so dun worry..haha..

think i gtg le..cos my nose cannot take it le..haha..keep sneezing..going to sleep..haha..=p

Really hope next week will nt end that fast..haha..(",)

SERENE-D(x 3:38 pm

Sunday, September 10, 2006
:: Three more days to RESULTS!!!!! ::

Just realised that it's 3 more days to results..sad..die le..cos sure din do well..dun even know if i can pass..dunno how..so worry..sianz..every sem must like that..haha..stupid de..All i want now is for a pass..cos i dun wanna waste half yr..3 more days will know if i will graduate in feb or aug..so everyone pray hard for me..k?haha..n also wish me good luck..haha..

Ytd, nv work..finally gt one day nv work..but....gt band..gt performance at botanic garden ytd..quite enjoy the performance ba..but...dun really like the arrangement ytd..as in the ppl helping to carry instruments..all so old n slow..dunno like wat sia..then gt one old uncle know i need help,then he nv even offer to help..he just walk away..WTF..the thing so heavy..no one helped..all just stand there look and say..only after that gt another old uncle come help..haiz..dunno y go change ppl..change all to those old ppl..even the drive bus de also old one..dunno he knows how to drive not..go one big round then reach botanic garden..dunno wat to say..haiz..if ask all this old ppl, then as well dun ask ppl to help..not i bad..is i can't stand it..then still gt ppl attitude..haiz..though not the first time..but still..haiz..pissed off..dun wanna say so much..cos still part of the band..then say too much later ppl not happy..should just stop here..

Then at botanic garden, i saw fuhua de Mr Lee..the teach history de..he alone sitting there watching us during our sound check..like very ke lian..haiz..then actually during the break wanted to go look for him..but too late le..he walk away liao..saw him walk away alone..so sad like that..the further he walk, the more i feel so sad..dunno y..maybe cos he walk alone like so lonely..hope he didn't went there alone..maybe he went there with his family ba..

Tmr starting work again..sianz..so tired..no rest at all..i mean..no proper rest at all..haha..so tired..somemore the whole week i will start work at 7.45am..hell..dunno how i am going to survive through..i am really tired..nv rest enough at all..then will have to work till 6pm..so poor thing..haiz..plus this thurs gt store visit..more sianz..thought i can get away from it..but who knows..haiz..pc not enough ppl..so need irene to go over..then i will have to stay at ACS..it's all fated..just can't escape from it..that day sure will be our worst day..cos the store like shit sia..nv clear..then work with two ppl who always like not sure but wanna act clever..dunno wat to say sia..as a part timer, i shouldn't say so much..if not later kanna scolding again..=x

think i will stop here..i tired liao..wanna go sleep liao..haha..see you guys soon..Good Luck to everyone for the exam results!!!Hope we all can pass all the modules..haha..=)Nitez everyone..

3 more days to results..getting more n more scare...hoping for the best..(",)

SERENE-D(x 10:11 pm

Thursday, September 07, 2006
:: Fianlly this week is ending liao.. ::

So happy..finally this week is coming to an end soon..haha..cos this is really exhausting week..must wake up so early for so many days..then work till so late everyday..haha..really cannot take it..lucky later not work at 7am..is work at 8.30am..haha..if not sure tired till die..haha..got work also die..no work also die..haha..dunno how sia..if no work got money is the best ba..haha..think everyone will wish for this to happen..haha..but dun think it will happen to me..haha..

Tmr going back to ACS to work le..going back to check variance..hope can have good news..if not..dunno how..must find as much as possible to lower the variance..haha..if not like very sad..this week many things happened at work..haha..like gt rumours saying that i resign le..haha..but i didn't even know that i resign..dunno who is that idiot saying rubbish..haha..if i know who is it, then that person die..haha..how can anyhow spread this kind of rumour..haha..if go to boss how?wat they will think?so stupid..this kind of things also can spread rumour..hate it man..then monday ppl put words into my mouth again..say i volunteer to go NYGH to help on tues..but the thing is i nv even say anything abt going NYGH on tues..i dun even know where i suppose to go for tues on monday..haha..was so shock..then kanna erica say i tell ppl i going to NYGH to help then later tell her i not going..i really nv say loh..if i got say anything, i will admit..if i do wrong, i will admit..i won;t say i nv do it and push to ppl de..i am not that kind of ppl..dunno way some ppl at work just like to put words into my mouth and harm me..i am tired with all this..dunno when the hell all this ppl gonna stop their stupid and childish things n rumours..sucks man..just too tired to bother abt them..haha..always creating troubles only..haha..all the ppl all so bo liao..haha..should just shut up and do their part well can le..dun talk so much..haha..

Then next week wed getting results le..so anxious..so scare..scare that i will do badly..really hope that i can pass all..that is all i hope for now..but i think is difficult..still need to pray hard..if i fail again, i will be damn sad..really..cos this time round, i really put in all i can to do well..i really done my best..i will be very disappointed if i dun do well..i am serious..hope i won't be disappointed..all i hope for is a pass..dunno if can not..whenever i free, i will think of it..dunno y..so i rather i am busy..like at night when i free, then i will think of alot of things..haiz..

N also i still gt some things bothering me..haiz..dunno how to say..all i can say is really i miss the days..the past and that someone..really hope that nothing had changed..but..it's impossible..all change le..i think i am beginning to lose it..really..the feelings are no longer that strong le..wat should i do????give up or hang on???wat will happen if i give up and wat will happen if i hang on???i also dunno..i am so puzzled n troubled..can anyine tell me how???

I think i am really losing it....but i still miss the past alot.....='(

SERENE-D(x 12:36 am

Saturday, September 02, 2006
:: EXHAUSTED.. ::

I'm so exhausted..haha..just work n work n work..reached home then fell asleep le..then wake up very early go work le..haiz..been like that ever since school holiday starts..so tiring..cos need to prepare for stocktake..coming week still got a few more stores to go..haha..but heng..i only know my schedule for mon n tues..haha..

Today is ACS de stocktake..thought will be very bad..but turn out to be ok..i done my best le..i already did all that i can..but still make a few mistake..then think they not happy ba..but i really did my best le..haiz..everyone is tired..so am i..imagine the whole store gt no one very experience to come help us when pre-count..we had to do all the things ourselves..cos erica they all gt stocktake at NBP..haiz..then erica only came down at 5.30pm..she helped to adjust n try to see wat is not right...then maybe all tired..then nv really notice the mistakes..untill today..haiz..the worst thing is that everyone who helped for the pre-count like all new de..everything dunno..keep asking n asking..then must tell them wat to do..haiz..tiring..today stocktake so long then end..end at 6pm..cos is new system..haiz..still think old system better..haha..Can only say sorry for all the mistakes i had done..i already did my best..=(

Hmmm..tmr gt work also..haha..hope can relax abit tmr..going back to sleep asap after band..if not the coming week will be hell man..cos will be very tiring also..haha..then 2 more weeks know results le..so scare..but this few days nv really think of results..cos no time..talked to a few ppl abt wat i should do after poly..but still cannot decide..

Wed i went back to fuhua to look for Ms Teo..then saw the other teachers..talked to them for awhile..then all asked abt where i wanna go after i graduate..all assume that my results are good enough to go Local University..But..feel so sorry...cos think i will disappoint them..cos my results not really that good..plus i dun have the money to study..then talked to Ms Teo abt it..she say can try ACCA..hmmm..thinking abt that..then just now talked to Erica..she say ACCA may not be the good choice..haiz..dunno how should i decide..i know i need to further my studies..but dunno at where..Ms Teo ask me to try NTU n SMU first..if cannot then try ACCA..maybe i will go with her suggestion..Ms Hoe suggested that i go work for two yrs then go study Uni..but scare later i dun wanna study anymore..then sure die de..so dunno how..getting nearer..need to consider carefully..All three of them suggested different routes i can go..but they gt say one thing in common..n that is.."This is your only chance to get to Uni and get a degree,dun miss this chance..must try no matter wat..not everyone gt the chance to go uni de.."Hmmm..i agree with them..but my results..haiz..really regretted..sad..should really sit down and think carefully..decide wat i want for my future..hmmm..hope i will get to a decision soon..haha..though is still quite long, i still think that i should plan ahead first..haha..

Thurs also went back to fuhua to see teachers..haha..chatted with them too..haha..miss the days in sec school..haha..hmmm..k la..i gtg le..going to sleep..really dozing off le..haha..see you guys soon..haha..=)

The Future is in our hands..we decide our own future..must think carefully..n also be true to urself..know wat is best for u..(",)

SERENE-D(x 11:53 pm