Just now quarrelled with my mother..then she cried..i also cried..didn't mean to say those words..but i just couldn't control myself at that point of time..maybe i should just shut up and nothing will happen..maybe i should just keep all my feelings inside and nothing will go wrong..Next time i should just keep everything to myself and let me die off just like that someday when i can't take it anymore..maybe like that will be the best solution for everyone..
feeling so frustrated..suddenly felt that no one cares and bothers abt me..no one actually understands me well..i am feeling so stressed up..cos gt not enough money to pay school exams fees..need to pay by 27/07/06..but no money to pay..dunno how..haiz..sainz..told mother abt it..then she nagged at me..say she already no money then i still wanna take from her..i gt no choice..i also dun wanna take from her if i can..cos is her hard earned money..she thinks that i just wanna take her money for no reasons..haiz..i need to pay exams fees that's y ask from her..if not i won't ask money from her..just see how loh..if really dun have..then dun study amymore loh..that's wat they want mah..study for wat..no one gives me the support..everyone thinks that i won't do well..i am already trying my best to study hard..but no one gives me a chance..y????????
brother asked for $3000 to pay sch fees and they supported him..then when i told them that i wanna continue to study in ACCA then they asked me to work and earn money to pay for my own school fees..why different treatment???we are all their children..can't they be more supportive???in fact even my 'O'levels exam fees also not they pay de..disappointed..i am really tired..after school go down to work..just to earn that $20..then go back still need to revise..haiz..next morning still got school..y am i doing this to myself??? i really envy my friends who dun have to work n gt money..cos their parents will support them..then they will have more time and energy to study..i understand that my parents dun earn alot..but...at least they should try to support us in our studies..my mother thinks that she is the only one tired after a long day..i am also tired..need to study in the morning and work after sch..i am not enjoying myself..i dun wanna work..i dun enjoy working but i have no choice..cos gt no money.. money will not drop from the sky..money will only come when we work hard..If my father were better and will think of the family, we will not be in the situation we are now..is one's life..it's all fated..just hope for the best in future..
late liao..i going to sleep le..cos i tired le..dun wanna say anymore..say le still the same..haiz..
Cannot see my future..dunno wat it will be like when i finished poly next yr..dun dare to imagine..just wanna hope for the best..wanna say sorry to my mother for me making her upset..i didn't mean it..='(