SERENE(:

Saturday, July 29, 2006
:: Alone at home... ::

Very long nv alone at home at night le..haha..today sis went to watch national day preview..then dunno bro go..mama n papa work..so i alone..no where to go..wanying do project, shaun watch concert..haha..so i nv go out loh..actually wanted to go to penny's house today..but too lazy..n dun wanna disturb her..then slack at home..haiz..today reached home around 7pm..i sound so sian right?haha..i am really bored..

On Thursday, i heard something quite shocking..dun really believe it..but somehow..some things not up to us to control..when it's time to let go, everyone will have to let go..haha..felt abit sad..dunno y..actually i think i should be happy..but i abit sad..this is weird..is it cos got feelings le??haha..i also dunno..hmmm..i say so much..but still haven't say wat i heard..haha..think dun say lah..haha..cos dunno how to say..hmmm..just hope that everything will be fine after that..but i doubt so..=x

I have a strong feeling that i will have a tough time after our exams..cos got to go back to work..i dun wanna go back to NYGH to work..cos i really dunno how to communicate with the auntie there..she is so slow, blur and..........haiz..dunno how to describe..work with her will die faster..hope that i will be asked to work at ACS instead..cos i really like to work ACS alot..the environment there is better..go so many schools to work before, still think that ACS is the best..Pei Chun also not bad..just abit far..MGS also ok..just dun like NYGH..haiz..i wanna let erica knows that i dun wanna work at NYGH..but dunno how to tell her..scare later she nag alot..haiz..if i dun tell her that i dun wanna work at NYGH,she will definitely put me at NYGH..haiz..dun understand..payroll under ACS, but worked for NYGH instead..not fair to ACS mah..dunno wat i should do..maybe dun work there will be the best choice le..haha..go find a new job..i just hate the fact that i always have to help that stupid auntie at NYGH..then later kanna her backstab..sucks man..If think that she cannot handle alone, just ask her to resign loh..she is practically useless.. hope that i can find another job by school holidays..then i can stop working there..haha..or maybe i should just tell erica that if she keeps putting me at NYGH, then i will quit..if she says that i can go ahead to quit, then good..haha..no need to work there anymore..then all the best to her also..i had enough during attachment at NYGH..it's a nightmare man..my 'A' almost fly away cos kanna blame on something i nv do at all..sad..ppl believe her and not me..haiz..that's how they treat part timers..so bad..hmmm..dun say about work le..now say abt studies..

Exams coming soon..think abt 16 more days to first paper..must jiayou le..slacked alot for the past week..nv really studied at all for the past week..already behind time for the timetable i planned..so must bucked up le..hope to really do well for this sem..cos going to finish poly le..dun wanna fail and repeat half more yr for one module..waste time..dun wanna to be forward module anymore..haha..hmmm..k la..i think i go study le..if not later sure fail..haha..come in again to blog when free..=)

SERENE-D(x 9:43 pm

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
:: Did something wrong today.. ::

Just now quarrelled with my mother..then she cried..i also cried..didn't mean to say those words..but i just couldn't control myself at that point of time..maybe i should just shut up and nothing will happen..maybe i should just keep all my feelings inside and nothing will go wrong..Next time i should just keep everything to myself and let me die off just like that someday when i can't take it anymore..maybe like that will be the best solution for everyone..

feeling so frustrated..suddenly felt that no one cares and bothers abt me..no one actually understands me well..i am feeling so stressed up..cos gt not enough money to pay school exams fees..need to pay by 27/07/06..but no money to pay..dunno how..haiz..sainz..told mother abt it..then she nagged at me..say she already no money then i still wanna take from her..i gt no choice..i also dun wanna take from her if i can..cos is her hard earned money..she thinks that i just wanna take her money for no reasons..haiz..i need to pay exams fees that's y ask from her..if not i won't ask money from her..just see how loh..if really dun have..then dun study amymore loh..that's wat they want mah..study for wat..no one gives me the support..everyone thinks that i won't do well..i am already trying my best to study hard..but no one gives me a chance..y????????

brother asked for $3000 to pay sch fees and they supported him..then when i told them that i wanna continue to study in ACCA then they asked me to work and earn money to pay for my own school fees..why different treatment???we are all their children..can't they be more supportive???in fact even my 'O'levels exam fees also not they pay de..disappointed..i am really tired..after school go down to work..just to earn that $20..then go back still need to revise..haiz..next morning still got school..y am i doing this to myself??? i really envy my friends who dun have to work n gt money..cos their parents will support them..then they will have more time and energy to study..i understand that my parents dun earn alot..but...at least they should try to support us in our studies..my mother thinks that she is the only one tired after a long day..i am also tired..need to study in the morning and work after sch..i am not enjoying myself..i dun wanna work..i dun enjoy working but i have no choice..cos gt no money.. money will not drop from the sky..money will only come when we work hard..If my father were better and will think of the family, we will not be in the situation we are now..is one's life..it's all fated..just hope for the best in future..

late liao..i going to sleep le..cos i tired le..dun wanna say anymore..say le still the same..haiz..

Cannot see my future..dunno wat it will be like when i finished poly next yr..dun dare to imagine..just wanna hope for the best..wanna say sorry to my mother for me making her upset..i didn't mean it..='(

SERENE-D(x 2:04 am

Saturday, July 22, 2006
:: So late le..stilll can't sleep..haiz.. ::

So late liao..but i still can't get to sleep..haiz..dunno y..too stress???slept too much???hmmm..i also gt no answer to this..haha..just cannot sleep..very awake..so fast..one week going to end soon again..last week so busy..busy with projects, and rehearsals for concert and competition..frankly speaking, i think last week was the week i enjoyed most..cos gt the concert and all the rehearsals..although it is tiring..but is fun..haha..miss percussion practice..haha..now everyday is study for test..cos gt alot of test now..haha..

After studying for test will be prepare for exams le..already wrote a timetable for my revision for exams..haha..hope that i can follow as closely as possible..haha..cos i really must do well this time..must reached the target i set for myself during the beginning of this sem..haha..so far still ok..but only AFA like gt abit of problem..hope overall will not be that bad..must study harder for AFA..cos that is a tough module..must not neglect the rest of the modules also..like TAX1 also must do well..cos if nv pass this sem, will be kicked out of school le..hmmm..now got more time to revise..cos seldom work..n no programs after school..so can go back to revise..haha..gt revise abit for the past few days..but today damn slack..nv do any revision..must buck up tmr le..if not later will drag and soon..alot will be uncovered..haha..

Later in the evening got cousin gathering..haiz,,abit dun feel like going liao..dunno y..haha..maybe is sian..but luckily brother is going..haha..then at least i dun feel so weird..haha..already 19 le..so must like come out interact with them mah..cannot always so anti social..haha..think compared to the past, now i improved alot le..cos at least now, i gt talk to them..haha..

Come to think abt it, i like very long nv go see my ah ma..n also very long nv go out with wanying..haiz..so busy till i so many things nv do for a long time le..haha..nt a good sign..must really find one day next week to do all the things..haha..hmmm..dunno wat to write le..haha..think stop here bah..if not later go on and on..like so fan..haha..k la..stop here le..update my blog soon again..haha..

Are memories for us to save it in our brain till the day we leave this world??

SERENE-D(x 2:45 am

Monday, July 17, 2006
:: Why is it that happy time always past so fast???? ::

Sunday is over le..so fast..today monday le..ytd gt concert with my mus' art percussion club..enjoyed myself alot..hmmm..really love to play percussion with everyone in mus' art percussion club!!!!So fun, enjoyable, relaxing, happy..everyone in the group is so fun-loving..learnt alot at MAPC too!!Ytd suppose to go back to cc with them after the concert..but cousin going back to australia liao..so nv join MAPC back to cc to talk and eat..wanna apologise to them..so sorry..maybe i should go back to cc with them..haiz..now feel very bad..hope they not angry with me..hmmm..dunno when will be the next time we will meet up like that again..hope it will be soon..will sure miss MAPC..really felt great in MAPC..=) Hope will organise a chalet during our semester break..then can have fun together again like in netherlands..haha..(",)

Hmmm..ytd also gt perform with the band side..still ok ba..also enjoyed..but with MAPC better..heez..the guest conductor is so cute..haha..wanna thanks everyone who came to support me ytd..thankz alot..really appreciate it..with u all around then our concert can be successful..haha..cos u all also play a part..haha..=)

then ytd also know the results for our NBC..We gt gold..n our position is 3rd..hmmm..think not bad le..congrats to all..actually, i dunno y, ytd when i know the results, i dun feel anything at all..maybe is too tired??i also dunno..haiz..i am a weird person..to me the NBC is for me to gain experience and move to greater heights..haha..get gold very good le..haha..hmmm..thinking of going to take my grade 5 theory for music at the end of this yr..but dunno if i can make it..haiz..so many things on hand le..if i can, i really would wanna go try out..cos i dun wanna give up my passion just like that..i love to play percussion..so must do my best to improve myself further..if i dun go try to take grade 5, then my standard like keep on stay there also no point..haha..must plan my time first then see how..

next will be project le..IAP not done anything yet..dunno how..think of IAP then very sianz liao..haiz..chose the wromg elective..haha..then today go SAS to check for exam schedule..is out liao..less than one month to exams..so stress..hope i dun fail any module this sem..is not next yr must stay for half yr just to repeat that module..no point also..waste time n money..hmmm..then need to pay school fees also..by this month 27th..haiz..so broke..father still nv take money home..then also dun wanna keep asking money from mama..dunno how to pay for that fees lah..

plus brother keep asking me to give him money to pay my hp bills..i now really no money..how to pay him..he took so much money from my parents to pay school fees..then in the end they no money to give me also..then wat he wants me to do..i also wanna pay my bills..but i can't..cos i really no money..i am broke..y no one can understand me???i now also no work..also no money..this month really a tough month for me..haiz..in the end, ytd gave brother my last $25 to let him pay hp bills..cos he keep asking..dun give also cannot..haiz..nvm loh..just dun eat can le..i dun eat won't die de ba..if take money from mama..then she will nag say i keep taking money from her like my father..i am not like my father loh..my father gt work..i no work..i am still studying..i hate to go work after school..cos very tiring..will die de..i really can't take it anymore..so now after school nv go work le..still need to do projects, then study for tests..no time to work..even if work also one day earn $10..no point..so tiring..mama they all dun understand..they just think that i lazy dun go work..if i have the time and energy, i will go work..but i am really tired..tired till i keep on sick..nobody knows..they just think that i am lazy then dun go work..haiz..

k la..think i dun say le..say so much also no use..still broke..haha..no one can help..just have to let nature take its course ba..go revise now le..bye..=(

sometimes really feel like closing my eyes to sleep and nv wake up again..cos i am really tired..='(
Btw, just wanna tell everyone in MAPC that u all are GREAT!!!!Perseverance!!!!Really enjoyed every moment we spent together!!!!

SERENE-D(x 4:49 pm

Sunday, July 16, 2006
:: Feeling so relieved..haha.. ::

Finally handed up my audit project on fri..haha..that is the project i spent the most time doing le..i calculated and found out that i actually used 30hours to complete that project..to me that was alot..haha..Last week was a real busy week for me..gt band rehearsal almost everyday..then after sch, still stay to do projects..then ruch to band after my projects..so tiring...tired till my eyes swollen..at first was my right eye..then now is my left eye..so pain..then so swollen..haiz..later concert dunno how..will sure look bad..haha..dunno should go see doctor not..or wait for one more day..haha..later wake up see how first..haha..

Ytd, gt went to participate in National Band Competition..haha..was the last band..haha..so many ppl watching at VCH..hmmm..was quite nervous on stage..but managed to do well..din really make alot of mistakes..ytd's performance at the VCH was much better compared to those rehearsals i had for the past few days..haha..but our band's performance was not the best out of all our rehearsal..haha..just hope that our band could do well..haha..hope that we can get gold and be the top 3 bands..haha..after competition, went to JE to eat dinner..then after that went to meet my cousin to pass him the tix for my concert later..haha..then talked for awhile..found out that we very long time nv talk to each other le..maybe is everyone too busy..haha..must try to find time out to talk some other time..haha..

Hmmm..later the performance, abit excited..cos playing with percussion club..though this is not the first time, but still nervous and excited..haha..dunno y..hope can do well for the concert..cos gt friends n cousins come support me..so must show them the best performance..haha..hope they will like it..haha..hmmm..like very late le..better go sleep liao...cos eyes very pain..later tmr worst then die le..haha..thanks those who come to support me first..haha..see ya later..=) k la..i go sleep le..tmr must be at cc at 11.30am..haha..Bye..nite n sweet dreamz..

Hope that tmr will not end so soon..really had a great time together..(",)

SERENE-D(x 1:38 am

Tuesday, July 11, 2006
:: Projects are killing me!!!!!! ::

Haiz..so many projects due this week...IAP trial balance due on thurs, Audit due on friday..IAP like haven't start yet..then Audit also do halfway only..dun think this time round can score well..headache..sianz..no mood...then for IAP, i dun even know wat to do..must go ask around first..this week really a stress week..cos Fri morning still got AFA test...hope can do well for that test..haha..

Then this sat and sun will also be a busy day..cos sat gt national band competition..then sunday got Mus' Art Percussion Club and Band concert at Singapore Conference Hall at 5.30pm..Hope will have more ppl come support us..haha..think is worth going..cos got nice songs..haha..gt guest conductor also..so must come n see..haha..then later still got rehearsal for band..Thurs, Fri also gt rehearsal..so that means will have band on tues, thurs, fri, sat & sun..haiz..sad..so many days..only left with wed free..plus still need to rush for the projects..going crazy liao..so many things to do..so cannot work le..like very long nv work liao..cos not free..n they nv call..so dun go ba..think slowly will become quit le..haha..also good..can concentrate on studies..cos exams coming le..But one thing not good is that i will be damn poor..cos father now nv give me money le..haiz..dun really understand..ppl gt father, i also gt..but why my father like that..no work no money also cannot take from mama..cos she will nag..they bring me to this world but they dun support me..then in the first place dun bring me to the world..isn't it better? Sometimes think le very sad..Then think y ppl dun need to work just study..gt money..then y i need to work to support myself and still must study..I am really tired..Dun think anyone will understand how i feel..i may look ok outside..cos i dun want ppl to worry..but sometimes i feel really bad inside..n no one to share my problems with..cos everyone busy with their own things..wanna talk to mother, she also not free..everyday work till so late..then come back sleep le..one day also nv say 10 sentences to her..pathetic..dunno how to end all this problems..just hope that things will get better one day ba..but i dunno when will be that day..

K la..I dun continue le..cos going to do proijects le..if not sure die faster..bye..will come in again to blog when i free..haha..=x

Feeling so stress....Hope this week ends soon....but not sunday....

SERENE-D(x 11:14 am

Thursday, July 06, 2006
:: Tired..Headache..flu..haiz..sianz.. ::

Today woke up at 11.30pm..late for tutorial and lecture le..plus still gt flu and headache..so intend not to go school..but scare later attendance not enough..haiz..dunno how..dun wanna go see doctor..cos i broke le..then this month & last month see doctor many times le..so dun wanna go see le..just wanna stay at home to rest..hope my attendance will be enough..haha..

Think later will do some revision at home..then go rest awhile more..tonight got band..must practice hard and study hard..haha..hope tonight's practice will be ok..dunno how to tell u all lah..haiz..so far still only sell 6tix..but all haven't pay me the money..so not considered sold..haiz..sad..no one wanna come support me..

hmmm..dunno y today like feel so sianz..ytd met wanying..cos like gt 2 weeks nv meet le..then went for dinner..went to bet soccer..haha..then actually wanted to buy portugal win..but i draw wrongly..draw till france win..sian half..haha..then go buy portugal win again..haha..waste money..haha..then in the end france really won...haha..shouldn't have went to buy portugal again..haha..in the end no gain and no loss sia..haha..think wanying loss..think she loss $3..haha..haiz..feel so bad..cause her to lose money..haha..

dunno wat to say le..go off first..go buy lunch to eat then later go sleep awhile more..haha..bye..

Will my Birthday Wish come true??????

SERENE-D(x 12:16 pm

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
:: Had a wonderful weekend!!!! ::

The weekends just over..haha..then tmr got two test..sianz..haven't study at all..come in to blog for awhile then go study le..had a wonderful weekend!!!heez..went to sentosa with shaun on sat..went to his house to meet him first..cos need to return him the air pump..but in the end, found out that i lose the needle for the air pump..need to go buy to replace..if not later his papa has to walk to carpark everyday..haha..i so bad sia..anywayz, i went to buy the needle today le..tmr then pass to shaun..hmmm..as i was saying, we went to sentosa on sat..we ate lunch le then go take bus 188 to harbour front..very fast reach harbour front le..think around 30mins reach le..then from there change bus to sentosa..reached sentosa at 1plus..then go to palawan beach to enjoy the sun and the sea..we found a place to put our bag then go into the sea to play le..haha..i dun dare to go too far..cos i dunno how to swim..so useless sia..haha..then in the end shaun went further..i waited somewhere nearer to the beach..haha..enjoy the wave..then splash water at each other..enjoyed myself..then we lie on the beach..forget to bring cloth to put on the beach..haha..then whole body sand sia..haha..then i used the sand to bury shaun..only left his head..took me quite sometime to complete..haha..then took pics of him being bury by the sand..haha..the wind quite strong..then keep blowing the sand on us..haha..then the sand keep going into my eyes and mouth..haha..so funny..hmmm..play till whole body wet..haha..then we took pics together..happy..cos more pics in my folder le..haha..

after playing at the beach, go 7 eleven to buy drink..cos thirsty..forget to bring water also..then after that went to wash up and change..then we go walk walk..haha..walk till the skyride and luge there..then decided to try the skyride..haha..was a great experience..haha..first time take the skyride..then see the island from such a high view..haha..very nice..when reached the highest part, very scare the slippers will drop..haha..so use my toes to secure it..haha..was scary..lucky nv drop..haha..if not no need to wear shoes home liao..haha..took pics up there also..the scenery so nice..so long nv see such a nice scenery and also enjoy so much liao..think since i came back from holland last year..haha..cos so many things to do since then..haha..finally got one day can enjoy..haha..planned to go sentosa every month..cos quite near us..very fast will reach..but only dun like the coming back part..cos need to wait very long for the bus..haha..

after we came down from the skyride, we walk around..then go orchid garden to see, look and take pics..haha..then continue to walk for awhile then went back...cos already 6 plus by then..feeling abit hungry..haha..went to harbour front to walk and eat dinner..felt abit tired by then..after dinner walk for awhile..then go take bus back..haha..on the way back, slept on the bus..haha..cos so sleepy..very fast reached le..then drop at IMM there..went there to see wat to buy for my cousin's birthday..i forgot abt her birthday..so sorry..happy belated birthday to her..hmmm..also forgot someone else's birthday..haiz..every yr remember..but this year forget..dunno y..haha..nvm ba..so long le..haha..after go IMM, then go home le..cos tired..sunday got band..go back sleep early..

sunday late for band again..cos overslept..took a cab down..next week must be early..cos competition and concert coming...enjoyed myself in band ytd (sunday)..played alot of songs...fun..but stress..cos gt lots of practice coming along..hope more ppl can come support me..so far only confirm sold 6 tix..yuling, chuan, mike, brother, xiu xia jie jie n wanying..haha..will ask more ppl to come support the percussion club and band..think the tix $10 is worth it..cos i think we won;t disappoint u all de..haha..=x

then sunday also mama's birthday..went to JE to buy cake for her after band..haha..the cake still not bad..quite nice..then bring mama go downstairs eat..brother n me treat mama..cos this year no money to buy her anything..hope she will stay healthy and cheerful always..hope that mama dun think so much..hmmm..think this month i die le..cos no money..papa nv give me..he say he no money give me..dunno wat to say..haiz..just try my best to survive ba..although i dunno how to..born in this type of environment also no choice..just have to survive as well as possible..

today go school then do project during break..finally finished the flowchart for audit..still got more to go..must jiayou..let's work hard together ba..haha..cos this project is 40%..if fail means die le..so must do well..this week no work..cos need to concentrate on studies..told erica le..good that she understands..studies more important..cos final le..cannot fail anymore..haha..then today went for tax tutorial..i really miss Miss Ang..haha..cos she teach better..that relieve lecturer no use de..teach so slow..till i fell asleep..then still dunno her topics well..stupid..dunno where the school find this lecturer de..haha..she teach can fail sia..haiz..dun care lah..must work hard ourself le..cos Miss Ang will only be back in Sem 2..by then we finish tax le..must jiayou..cos if fail tax again, kanna kicked out from sch le..haha..

k la..think i write alot le..go study now..cos if fail the test tmr then also die le..all my efforts previously will be gone..haha..so cannot..go study le..bye..come in when free again..(",)

Always believe that everything happens for a reason...When there is a will, there is a way...perseverance!!!!

SERENE-D(x 12:35 am

Saturday, July 01, 2006
:: Time really files..so fast 1st week of school end le.. ::

I so long nv come in to blog..haha..cos school starts le..then nv get the chance to use com..haha..very fast, 1st week of term 2 end le..few more weeks to exam..jiayou everyone..gt projects due in this two weeks..so must work hard le..just finished watching soccer..germany vs argentina..haha..it was a long and tough match..finally, germany won with a penalty shoot out of 4-2..haha..GREAT!! They are in for the semi finals..haha..hope they will get into the finals..haha..jiaoyou!!!haha..

Tmr going to sentosa in the morning with shaun..thinking of going there to try caneoing..but must see how first..haha..hope tmr will be a sunny day..haha..then can have fun for a day..before starting with all the projects again..haiz..tired..haven't being feeling well this few days..wed took an MC..cos like gt a bit fever..hmmm..rested for a day..nv go school..then friday, like gt worst..cos my ear very pain..pain till my mouth also pain..open my mouth also pain..gone case liao..hope will be better soon..think is ear infection...last time sec 4 always kanna..very long nv kanna le..now kanna again..haiz...so xin ku sia..haiz..just hope that i can recover soon..

Hmmm..later going to do audit..cos my group haven't start anything yet..abit worried..40% sia..fail then die le..dunno how..just do our best ba..as long as we hv done our best, we will not regret when we see our results..that's what i always believe..think it's true..so we must do our best for all the things..haha..dun wanna fail any modules anymore..so i must work extra hard le..My Friends!!! Jiayou..k?=)

Hmmm..it's getting late le..think i go eat medicine then go to bed le..if not later will take very long to recover..will come in when i free to blog again..haha..

Must thanks mama for always being there for me..I will love her always..Her birthday coming le..but i like too poor to buy her anything..abit sad..If i can, will buy her something..(",)

SERENE-D(x 1:51 am